Aw, C’mon. You know I hate pouts. It’s not horrible to have you back.

(via alexishedlund-deactivated201204)
This is such a heartfelt welcome. I think I might cry.
As heartfelt as it gets without sarcasm.

(via alexishedlund-deactivated201204)
I don’t hop. I walk.
Exactly. I hop. To the basement. Away from you. Welcome back to the crazy house, Little Hedlund.

(via alexishedlund-deactivated201204)
DON’T LOOK BEHIND YOU.
THINK OF YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN.

Run. Quick.
SAVE YOURSELF!

I remember this part: Tristan has no smart ass comeback so he’s running.
Watch how you talk to me, bitch. I have no problem beating your ass back to the brink of death.
Bye now. Go threaten someone who’ll actually give a shit.

(Source: zero2cat)
Pretty sure I banged every reminisce of the 12 seconds you had with her. Did you know she was drunk and thinking about me when she had sex with you?
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Just keep trying to convince yourself of that. Maybe you’ll even believe it one day. Bye Nick.

(Source: zero2cat)
It’s just not everyday that you see a heterosexual male rockin a pair of those. How’s the single life goin? Oh better yet, how’s that revenge plot that I was suppose to watch my back for?
Did you know, that every time you have sex with Rory, you’re basically having sex with me.

(Source: zero2cat)